A Step of Faith

Well, here I am putting my heart out on the world wide web. This is the second most scariest thing I have ever done. The first was getting pregnant again after my first son passed away. This blog and hopefully future nonprofit organization is a result of that experience. So, I feel you all need to know the whole story which will also help to see where I -- where God is leading me with this project.

When I was 21 and 1/2 weeks pregnant I began having pains in my sides. I had no clue what it was and since I spent time in nursing school and worked for a hospital for over a year I didn't freak out. I remember telling people I feel like I am having "cramps." I had a hard time sleeping that Thursday night and I told my husband I was a little worry because the pain comes and goes. Little did I know that I was describing labor (which was confirmed after reading The March of Dimes website and talking to my friends who have kids). Needless to say I woke up Friday morning and met my friend for lunch. During lunch at Chili's my water broke and that is when things turned into a whirlwind of events. (So, pardon me if at this point I don't have my timeline perfect.) My friend drove me to the hospital downtown at this point the nurses found the baby's heartbeat but not very well. They told me this was due to the fact that I was not very big b/c I was not very far along. The doctor told me I was still closed, my contractions had slowed, and we were in a holding pattern. We were praying that my contractions would not return, that infection would not set in, and that my water would replenish itself. My wonderful girlfriends came and prayed over me, Brian and I prayed together, and I know there were countless others doing the same. But, a few hours after I first arrived the nurses could no longer get a heart beat and my contractions were beyond what I could stand. The doctor wheeled in the sono machine and for the first time that night looked at our baby. There was absolutely no water left and our sweet baby had passed away. It did not take very long after that for me to give birth (I am not sure how else to say that) to our first son. We had decided to not find out what we were having so it was a surprise that our baby was a boy. We also had not thought of a name but one of my good friends had a book of names that she lent us. As we looked through the book it had names and the verses that went with those names. We chose the name Ethan b/c of the verse Romans 8:28 that went with it.